The Curlie in 3C - Coconut Oil Review

So lately I have been trying to incorporate more natural products in my hair regimen - like stuff you'd find in a kitchen, natural oils, etc. A few years ago, a friend put me on to the benefits of using coconut oil. I liked it, but I was not using it properly. I decided to try it again, in a few different ways. I'll be reviewing Tropical Traditions Gold Label Virgin Coconut Oil as a pre-poo treatment and using the LOC method.**

The Product: Tropical Traditions Gold Label Virgin Coconut Oil

Where You Can Get It: click picture above to link to the website where it can be ordered.



PRE-POO (this is a conditioning treatment that's done prior to shampooing the hair for added conditioning and strengthening.)
What It's Supposed To Do:  A pre-poo in general is supposed to penetrate and condition the cuticle to prepare the hair for the manipulation of a shampoo. Also, (from CurlyNikki.com) "...it’s one of the relatively few oils that are able to penetrate deep into the hair. Coconut oil is special because it has the right combination of molecular size and shape (it’s small and has straight line structure that allows it to slip into hair) and the right chemical structure (it’s derived from lauric acid which has an affinity for protein.) So while most conditioning oils (like silicones and mineral oil) just sit on top of that hair, coconut oil is literally able to work from the inside.


What It Did: I did this prior to getting my hair straightened, which is not my usual practice. I found that detangling my hair was a LOT easier, and my hair was softer than usual after it was fully blown dry.

The LOC Method (LOC stands for Liquid, Oil, and Cream, which is the order of moisturizing for maximum results.) I used this method with a chunky twist-out, using the coconut oil as my "O".

    

What It's Supposed To Do: As the middle of the LOC method, its supposed to lightly layer over the liquid (water) to seal in moisture and help support the cream layer for ultimate moisturizing.

What It Did: Worked wonders! See in the middle pic how shiny my hair is? And it wasn't slick and greasy...it actually felt soft. I'm definitely a fan of this method using coconut oil.

P.S. I used it a skin moisturizer just out of the shower, and my skin was really soft! It lasted about 12 hours and I love the smell. It's faint and not overpowering. I love the smell of coconut when it's not too strong! 

The only other oil I've used is Olive and Grapeseed - I love those too, but for different purposes. I like to use Olive Oil as a part of my deep conditioner (more details on that later) and I like to use Grapeseed Oil as an everyday moisturizer when my hair feels dry and it's not wash day. But I've heard they all work for the LOC Method, depending on your hair type. But I really liked the coconut oil for my hair. What's your favorite oil? Which ones do you want to try?

**Disclaimer: Tropical Traditions provided me with a free sample of this product to review, and I was under no obligation to review it if I so chose. Nor was I under any obligation to write a positive review in return for the free product.

Black Girl's Think Tank - Here's a Tip

Every now and then, my family would gather together and go out to eat. There would be about 7 to 10 of us.  My uncle would insist on paying the bill, for which we are all grateful. After he paid the bill, he actually took the time out to write "tips" on the back on the receipt (i.e. "never eat yellow snow.") and my family would have a good laugh.

It was mortifying.

I do hold bias. I was a server and bartender for almost 10 years. When I was younger, the tips were a fun bonus. When I got older and was out on my own, a lot of times what I made in one night could determine whether or not my electricity bill would be paid. Or worse, my rent.

Over the years, I have had many discussions about why people do and don't choose to tip. Some feel is the company's job to pay their employees for all work done at the job. Others gauge the amount tipped on how pleased they were with the service (in this instance, I find that nine times out of ten, these people are never really happy with the service.) And some people just plain ole don't know any better - by becoming a server, I essentially taught my parents how to tip.

In my opinion, a server would have to pretty much call me a name and spit in my food for me NOT to tip, but again, I am biased. And de-bunking stereotypes is a priority to me, so I'll even do it to prove a point. I participated in a rather heated discussion on Facebook regarding this matter, and I realized that ignorance was a driving force behind the naysayers of tipping. So I found this nifty chart of who, where and how to tip.

RESTAURANTS/BARS Waiter/waitress: 15% of bill (excl. tax) for adequate service; 20% for very good service; no less than 10% for poor service Headwaiter/captain: often gets a cut of table server's tip; so tip your server extra to reward captain, or tip captain separately Sommelier, or wine steward: 15% of cost of the bottle Bartender: 15% to 20% of the tab, with a minimum of 50 cents per soft drink, $1 per alcoholic drink Coatroom attendant: $1 per coat Parking valet or garage attendant: $2 to bring your car to you Washroom attendant: 50 cents to $1

	DAILY LIFE Taxi driver: Varies depending on locality. Assume 15% will be enough; an extra $1 to $2 for help with bags. Food delivery person:* 10% of the bill (excl. tax), at least $1 for bills up to $10. Should tip 15%-20% for a difficult delivery. Grocery loader: Check with store policy if tips are accepted. If so, $1 for bringing bags to car; $1.50 to $3 if you have more than 3 bags. Barber: 15% to 20%, minimum $1, for a haircut. For other services (shampoo, shave or manicure) tip $1 to $2 to service provider. Hairdresser: 15% to 20%. (It is now acceptable to tip owner, unless he or she says otherwise.) Shampoo person: $2 Manicurist: 15% Spa service (e.g., massage): 15% to 20%. If service is provided by owner, no tip. Staff at coffee/food retailers with tip jars: No tip required. It's completely optional. Handyman: No tip Gas attendant: No tip * Mike Lynn, associate professor of consumer behavior at the Cornell Hotel School suggests tipping pizza delivery folk a minimum of $2 per pizza. His reasoning: Food delivery can be dangerous if delivering to crime-ridden neighborhoods or driving in bad weather, etc. The Web site www.tipthepizzaguy.com suggests the following: 15% for normal service, with a $2 minimum; 20% for excellent service; 10% or less for poor service; at least 10% for orders of $50 or more. Don't assume a delivery charge, if there is one, goes to the pizza deliverer. Ask the person who takes your order.

	TRAVEL Skycap at airport: $1 per bag if you check-in curbside; $2 per bag if skycap takes bags to check-in counter. Hotel doorman: $1 per bag for help with luggage; $1 per person for hailing a cab Hotel bellhop: $1 per bag for bringing luggage to your room (but a $2 minimum if you have just one bag) Hotel housekeeper: $2 to $5* per night Hotel concierge: $5 for getting you tickets or reservations ($10-plus if they're hard to get). No tip required when you ask for directions. Cruise: Varies. Ask cruise line about customary gratuities.

Source: Emily Post Institute
* Additional source: Tipping.org

Here are a few other interesting articles I found regarding the practice of tipping...did you know that the results of a recent poll show that most people tip out of social obligation, and not because of good service? Check these out:

http://money.cnn.com/pf/features/lists/tipping/

the real reason people tip - http://money.cnn.com/2003/05/15/commentary/everyday/sahadi/index.htm

After all this research, my opinion still stands. I do still judge people who refuse to tip. And I always will. When it comes to basic societal practices here in the US, poop or get off the pot. :-)

Black Girl's Think Tank - Stable Dating

A few years back, I was complaining to my friend Donna about my sad dating life and how much I HATED dating. She then explained her method of dating to me. Although I am just now getting the hang of it, it opened my eyes like the first time you realize all the cool things your phone can do a year after you've had it.

She likened dating to a horse stable: all the stalls may or may not be filled, just as long as there is more than one horse in it (cuz there's no point in having a stable for just one horse, right?) It seemed simple, very chic and cosmopolitan...empowering even. I remember turning this concept over in my head, wondering if I could pull something like this off. I'm the romantic, emotional type...you know, love at first sight and all that other stuff. I was afraid that dating like this would have my emotions all over the place. Or best case scenario, I'd be kissing a lot of frogs with no prince. As much I have loathed dating in the past, I decided to try it anyway.

It totally worked! No wonder I had always hated dating - I was doing it all wrong! So I think I've figured out what the problem was. You have to be able to see dating for what it's supposed to be. Metaphor Time: We sometimes look at dating as Husband Auditioning instead Trying on Clothes. It's silly to think you have to buy everything you try on, whether it fits or not. So why wouldn't that be the case for a partner? Every time I dated someone, I immediately tried to determine whether or not they were good husband material, or if they were The One. I put all my eggs in one basket. So when the basket finally fell and all my eggs broke, I was devastated. (I know I'm going IN with the metaphors, but stay with me!)

Now back to the stable. Having multiple horses in my stable ensured that I wouldn't be dating out of necessity, desperation, or worst of all, loneliness. If one wasn't available, there were others to hang out with or talk to, get to know. I never gave too much time or energy to just one. It kept my emotions balanced and in check. Plus, if you go so far as to think of them racing (for your love, of course) one horse will always be in the lead, and eventually win the race...and your heart (ok, end of metaphors.)

Its such a smart and fun way to date, that I am convinced this is the way it's supposed to be done. I used to hate dating because I just knew that I would either end up happily boo'd up or being rejected and hurt. Mostly the latter. There was never a middle. Now its all evenly balanced...I hardly notice when one falls off, cuz I didn't unhealthily attach myself to them, and I'm still dating the others too. It's great.

So in honor of Valentine's Day, I want to fully endorse Stable Dating (pun intended.) Thanks Donna for teaching me how to date!

Soul Survivor - For The Sake of the Call

For the sake...of the call...
I am laying down my all.
No turning back.
Move straight ahead.
I'm on the right track...
And it's all for the sake of the call.

- The Call, Anointed

I will begin this post by admitting that I am an emotional person (doubly emotional for about 5 to 7 days every month.) I have days where things get to me, and until I am able to calm myself and think it through, those things wreak havoc on my mood and overall perspective on my life.

Today, I had a moment where I second-guessed my calling. My purpose. That thing I've known I was put on earth to do since I could speak. And it made me very sad. Because the hypothetical alternatives weren't cutting it.

Raise your hand if you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, what you have been "called" to do - your purpose on this earth, what you are "supposed" to be doing, etc.

If you raised your hand, then you know how extremely important it is NOT to second guess that. For any reason. Not for the haters. Not for the naysayers. Not even for the well-intending parent or friend. No one knows whats best for you better than you...understanding this means trusting yourself. Remember that your vote trumps all others when it comes to your life.

Your calling may or may not be your occupation. Your calling may or may not be your passion. Your calling could be a combination of these things, or none of them. Only you know for sure. Things throughout your life will continuously be added to and subtracted from your calling, but nothing will eliminate it if you truly believe in it.

In the midst of your journey (or in my case, today) you may need a word of encouragement. Find it. If you need some space from it, take it. If you are spiritual, pray on it - from my understanding, God is great with Callings. ;-)

But don't, whatever you do, please DON'T give up. Remember that moment when you identified your calling for what it was, because there was literally nothing else on this earth that you could do and feel fulfilled.

This post is for you and for me.

If you didn't raise your hand, don't delay. Seek out that calling. You have work to do!

And when your calling comes in, don't send it to voicemail. Answer it - you'll be glad you did.

Foodie Call - QUICHE!

Things That Are Great About Quiche:

1. It's cheap to make
2. It's plentiful
3. There's a quiche for everyone (except people who don't eat eggs)
4. It looks gourmet, but is very easy to make.
5. It has a fancy-sounding name so that when you tell people you made it, they are instantly impressed.
6. It is delicious!

I make them all the time, and I often switch up the ingredients based on what I have in my kitchen already. The one I'm giving the recipe is a simple one.

Sausage and Spinach Quiche

This recipe makes two quiche pies. Luckily the pie crusts come in pairs!

One roll of uncooked sausage (I use Bob Evans Sweet Maple Pork Sausage)
2 cups of fresh spinach, chopped
1 cup of shredded cheese
5 whole eggs, plus 2 egg yolks
3 Tbsp half and half
2 tsp salt
1 Tbsp black pepper
2 tsp garlic powder
2 tsp oregano (optional)
2 tsp basil (optional)
1 package of frozen pie crusts (they come 2 in a pack)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Unwrap sausage into a skillet, and cook on medium heat. breaking it apart into crumbles as it cooks. Once the sausage is browned, strain and set aside. Whisk the eggs, yolks and seasonings in a medium bowl with the half and half until well blended. Layer the ingredients in the uncooked pie shells in this order: sausage, spinach, cheese. Pour egg mixture into pie crusts over layered ingredients. Bake for about 20-25 minutes, or until inserted toothpick comes out clean with no eggy liquid on it. If the cheese starts to burn, cover it with foil for the last 10 minutes of baking. Let cool for 15 minutes to set, then slice and enjoy!

My food styling sucks, but below is the finished product:

Easy, delicious, and it only cost me about $12 to make two! That leaves me enough room in the budget for some tasty mimosas or Bloody Marys'! What are your favorite quiche ingredients? What ingredients would you be willing to try?

The Curlie in 3C - Smelly Hair Products

I cannot stand a stinky hair product.

I don't care how great the product is, if I have to hold my breath until the next wash day, it's a no go for me. I'm pretty easy - I pretty much like all things fruity and floral as far hair products go...I don't even mind a tiny bit of minty goodness (i.e. Miss Jessie's Curly Buttercreme and all of Dr. Miracle's Curl Care line.) But there are some hair product scents that are just unbearable to me! I've even had to wash my hair twice in one day because of a bad call on a smelly product. 

Of course, it's all objective. There have been plenty of times where I will turn my nose up at a product's scent only to have one of my girlfriends look at me like I have two heads, exclaiming "You don't like it?!?! Girl, I LOVE the way this smells!" Below are my Top 5 Most Wonderful Smelling Curly Products. They are all styling aids, because its rare that my hair hangs on to the scent of the conditioner - especially since I always follow with a styling product. 

My Top 5 Most Wonderful Smelling Hair Products

1. ANYTHING made by Karen's Body Beautiful. She creates all of her products in multiple scents so you get to choose. The scents are heavenly - Luscious Pear, Egyptian Musk, Coco Lime, Coconut and Fig, just to name a few. It's a no-brainer. 

2. Shea Moisture's Coconut & Hibiscus Curl Enhancing Smoothie. This stuff smells like a fresh fruit salad with coconut and marshmallows, and it's not terribly overpowering. When my hair is freshly styled with it, I almost always receive a compliment on the smell. 

3. Miss Jessie's Pillow Soft Curls. Ironlically enough, the product brags about being a "fabric softener for the hair", and my friends and I often joke about how it smells like Suavitel. Well I like Suavitel. The smell is powerful, but since I like it, I don't mind at all! It dies down as your hair dries anyway, but it doesn't totally go away. 

4. Elasta QP's Olive Oil and Mango Butter Moisturizer. I just received a full size of this product in my December CurlBox and I love it. It smells exactly like the name. The mango is prominent, but mellow. It smells delicious enough to eat. 

5. I Love My Fro Orange Vanilla Shea Butter Whip. I received a sample of this product at an event I attended. As soon as I opened the container, I wanted to grab a spoon. It smells like orange vanilla cake icing! My hair is usually not a fan of shea butter in certain forms (3C Problems) but I had to work it into a hair cocktail of some sort so I could use it! 

Those are my favorite smell good, natural gal products. What are some of yours? Have you tried any of the ones I listed? If so, do you agree? 

Black Girl's Think Tank - My Life According to Pinterest

I am addicted to Pinterest.

I have access to Pinterest on my tablet, computer, and mobile device. I truly believe there is no problem in this world that Pinterest can't solve.

Ok, that may be a slight exaggeration, but Pinterest is and can be so many things! And whats strange is that when someone asks me exactly what it is...I can't explain it. An online cork board? A scrapbook of sorts? Bookmarks for websites categorized more specifically with pictures?

All I know is that Pinterest pops into my mind several times a day, no matter what the subject. I can plan weekly menus, romantic getaways, house design, lesson plans, new hairstyles, a whole new wardrobe and style reinvention, reference a funny or inspirational quote, find things to knit, paint, create, sew, carve; stock a wet bar, and pretty much make ANYTHING you could buy from a store for half the cost.

Here's a list of what I've used Pinterest for so far:

- countless recipes...I actually plan weekly menus with my Recipes board.
- made my own green and natural home cleaning solutions
- made my own hair conditioner with items from my kitchen
-  knitted two scarves, a hat and a head warmer from patterns found on my Knitting board.
-  made green and natural pest repellant (totally put the kabash on a fruit fly infestation)
- made my own air freshener!
- got detailed lesson plan ideas
- gotten a few hairstyles to try (one was cute, the other a bust)
- made my own dried fruit snacks.
- gave myself an at-home Shellac manicure
- used a great DIY tip to dry said manicure in 3 minutes!
- made my own microwave popcorn
- discovered a number of great websites with great tips on everything from saving money to putting outfits together!

It is extremely easy to navigate and use, and you can download a "Pin It" button right into your browser menu. So if you're cruising websites and come across something you want to pin, you just go to the menu your Bookmarks are in and click Pin It. Plus you will spend hours just repinning all the great things that other people have pinned - they've done the searching for you! Not only is it a great resource, it has now become a great marketing tool as well, joining the ranks of Twitter and Facebook. If you haven't gotten hip to it yet, or think that it may be a bit overwhelming for you, do yourself a favor: get over it and get over to Pinterest! If you're already there, what are your favorite boards? What life-changing thing did you gain from it?

The Curlie In 3C - One Mo' Gin!

It's been a long time. I shouldn't have left you...

You know the rest.

I'm moved to blog again! Not sure how long it will last, but if you're down to enjoy it while it lasts, I'm down to give one more try!

For my loyal followers, I always start my blog posts with one of Five Headers:

Soul Survivor
Kiss My Glass
Black Girl's Think Tank
*The Curlie In 3C
*Foodie Call (Tales of a Foodie)

I'll start by replacing my header Naps, Mishaps and Product Caps with my new hair persona, The Curlie In 3C (@CurlieGirl3C on Twitter and there's a Facebook page too!) This is for you and me: if you're interested in how I care for and present my hair, I will be bothered to care for and present my hair.

We'll start with me not only trying new products, but new styles. My comeback hairstyle experiment is the Bantu Knot Out. I've heard mixed reviews - some of my friends have tried it and were not pleased with the results. But YouTube and other blogs and pics have shown me that a successful Bantu Knot Out can be done. Now whether or not I have mastered it is a different story. I also tried three new products on this style: I co-washed with Oyin Handmade's Honey Hemp Conditioner, then styled the knots with a combination of Dr. Miracle's Curl Care Strong Hold Gel and Elasta QP's Olive Oil and Mango Butter Moisturizer. These products are all courtesy of my Nov, Dec and Jan CurlBox shipments.

 

As you can see by facial expression, this was not an easy task for me. I didn't get that you had to twist them and wind them counter clockwise until I was halfway done. So the ones I did right were tighter and more secure than the ones I had done wrong. So me being the perfectionist that I am went back and re-knotted the first half. By this time, I was forced to re-wet and re-gel the ends (smh...curly problems). It only took me 2 hours and 15 minutes to finish. 

I was forced to sleep like Regina King did in Friday (remember the opening scene when she was sleeping like she was laying down reading a book?) because every time I laid back on my head, one of the knots would dig into my scalp. The knots and I survived till morning. 

This is what it looked like when I first took them out:

As you can see, I was underwhelmed. They were tight little coils and I had no idea what to do with them! Then I asked myself, what would one of my hair gurus do? (Mine is Jenell of KinkyCurlCoilyMe) So I scrounged up some bobby pins and started pinning!

Not too shabby for someone who has no real talent for styling hair. Below is the 2nd Day - I only tied it up with a silk scarf for bed. All us natural gals know and understand that the Sleep Test is the real test! 

So that was my adventure with Bantu Knot Out. Overall I would say its a win - now that I know how to do it, it shouldn't take me nearly as long, AND I know the style lasts at least 2 days. I shall file it away and pat myself on the back for doing something new with my hair! I may even try some variations, such as knotting it on dry, blown out hair.

Please share your Bantu Knot stories with me - was it a success or a fail? Did you try it different ways? What made the difference? How do you think mine turned out?

Soul Survivor: The Reasons

God determines who walks into your life....it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay,and who you refuse to let go."- Anonymous

I saw this quote somewhere, and it really made me think about how people are placed in my life for a reason...

but I never think about me being placed in someone else's life for a reason. The concept sounds simple enough...but alas...it is not.

How do you know? Sometimes I look at people around me, at how I treat them, how they treat me, how they behave...and I look heaven-ward and ask...really Lord? WHY?? If nothing else, it is my desire to fulfill God's purpose in life for me...so if this person is supposed to be here...so be it.

But what is my purpose in other people's life? Am I supposed to be teaching lessons? Setting examples? Being a friend, being a shoulder...and most importantly...

what happens if I fail?

It's one thing to muck up my life...it's something else to not do right by someone else's. Lord knows I've let some people stay when they should have been exiled from my life, and let some people go that maybe deserved a second (or third...or fourth) chance.

I guess God's greatest gift to us is free will...and patience is a virtue...and guidance is divine.

Tales of a Foodie: Tea Time! An Interchangeable Recipe for Tea Breads

I'm a big fan of quick breads - it takes half the time it does to bake regular bread, and there are so many great recipes for it! I came across a recipe for tea bread a while back, and decided to try it with some variations. They came out great! Tea is definitely not just for drinking anymore! A few great things about tea breads:

* they can be made just like tea - the recipe I use requires honey instead of sugar to sweeten the bread. It really makes the flavor of the tea the star of the show, and is a great sugar-free snack. 

* they make great gifts! Divide the recipe batter up among mini loaf pans, wrap them in pretty cellophane, add a bow and tag, and you have a perfect little gift! 

* This delicious recipe is amazingly simple, so it's a great beginning project for the novice baker. 

First I'll provide the base tea bread recipe. For the tea bags, you can use whatever kind of tea you think would taste great as a bread. 

Base Tea Bread Recipe

3/4 cup  2% milk

2 tea bags

2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 cup honey

3/4 cup butter, melted

3 large eggs

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray a 9x5-inch loaf pan with nonstick cooking spray. In a large saucepan, combine milk and tea bags. Heat milk over medium-high heat until steaming. Remove from heat. Let stand 10 minutes. Discard tea bags. 

2. In a large bowl, combine flour, baking powder, and salt. In another large bowl, combine tea-infused milk, honey, butter, and eggs. Gradually add flour mixture to milk mixture, stirring until blended. Pour into prepared pan. Bake 50 minutes or until a wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. 

Below are my favorite variations:

Vanilla Chai Tea Bread

Use vanilla chai flavored tea bags. Add a 1/4 teaspoon of cinnamon.

Lemon Ginger Tea Bread

Use lemon or lemon-ginger flavored tea bags. Add 1/4 teaspoon of ground ginger and a 1/2 teaspoon of lemon zest. 

Green Tea Bread

Use green tea bags. Add 1/2 teaspoon of lime or lemon zest

You can have a slice for breakfast, or have it as a delicious snack! If you come up a variation that works for you or that you'd like to try, please share it with us! Enjoy!

Kiss My Glass - But I Just Opened That Bottle!

I can't tell you how many times I have opened a bottle of wine, had one or two delicious and satisfying glasses, and put it in the fridge. I go back a week later, pour myself a glass, and spit out a mouth full of vinegar. I'm going to share a few tips on storing your bottles of wine.

You don't need a special refrigerator or cellar to store wine that you want to age, or just don't want to drink right away. Any cool, dark place, such as a closet or pantry, will do. Keeping the wine out of the sunlight and at a consistent temperature is key. You should also invest in a wine rack - when the bottles lay flat, it keeps the cork wet so air can't get in through cracks and promote spoiling. Wine bottles with screw tops don't need to lay flat. 

Once a bottle of wine has been opened, you want to limit the amount of air exposure. Re-corking and refrigerating a bottle of wine shortly after opening it will keep it fresh for up to 2 days. 

A vacuum pump wine sealer (shown above) is relatively cheap and can keep wine drinkable for up to a week. They run around $10, and it includes a pump and a couple of stoppers. 

Hopefully this little handy post will keep you from drinking a glass of vinegar or tossing a half-full bottle of perfectly good wine. Cheers!

Black Girl's Think Tank - The Hardest Part of Being Human

A while back, I came across an interesting concept that really got the wheels in my head turning: The 4 Hardest Tasks for people are not physical nor intellectual, but spiritual:

*Return Love for Hate - it's easy for us to identify and crucify our so-called "haters." But how difficult would it be, after that, to love them anyhow? Most of us don't realize how hard it is because we can't wrap our brain around loving someone who objectively or directly "hates" us. We're not supposed to, right? Its ridiculous for us to even entertain the idea. But if you are a spiritual person, or even try to live by the Golden Rule (Do unto others as you would have them to do unto you) then you will understand that however hard this might seem, it is necessary to get along in our lives if we have a shot at true happiness.

*Include the Excluded - I was always the kid that felt sorry for the other kid that was eating lunch by his or herself - and sometimes I would go so far as to go over and sit for a while, or have lunch with them. But only if my friends were on board too - good thing I had good, compassionate and like-minded friends. As adults, we hardly ever acknowledge the Excluded. We're not all in the same lunchroom anymore, so why bother? But it's even more important now that we do this. At church, at work, wherever. These are the things that just generally count as a good deed, and make you a better person.


*Forgive without Apology - So wait...I have to forgive this person, even if they don't apologize or ask for forgiveness? I know, it seems crazy. But you don't need me to tell you that holding grudges does nothing to the other person, and is absolutely poisonous for you. Don't feel like you're doing them a favor by forgiving them - you're doing it for YOU. Because after you do, you're free of it.

*Say "I Was Wrong" - Nobody, I mean NOBODY likes a Know-It-All. Some might think it makes you look weak and stupid to be wrong. But it makes you look stupid AND obnoxious to be wrong and not acknowledge it. 'Nuff said.

I check myself on all of these every now and then. Maybe if we all conquer the 4 hardest parts of being human, mankind will be restored...or maybe folks will just be happier. ;-)

Tales of a Foodie - The Perfect (and EASY) Pancake

Whenever I find out that a friend is using a pre-packaged shortcut to make a favorite dish, it is not uncommon for me to immediately exclaim "but you can make that from scratch, and it's SO EASY!!!" This usually prompts a disgusted look from said friend, followed by an eyeroll. I will admit, as a self-proclaimed foodie, I have been cooking and baking long enough to find things easy that may seem a little difficult to the novice cook. However...

...pancakes from scratch are the easiest thing from scratch you will ever make! I can make a whole batch in them in under 30 minutes, and they are fool-proof if you follow this simple recipe.

Fool-proof Pancakes From Scratch


1 cup all-purpose flour (spooned and leveled)*
2 Tablespoons sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup milk
2 Tablespoons melted butter
1 large egg
1 Tablespoon vegetable oil


* it's very important that you spoon the flour into a dry measuring cup and level it off. If you scoop the flour and level it, you may have a denser measurement that is not accurate for this recipe. 

1. Preheat oven to 200 degrees; have a baking sheet or heatproof platter ready to keep cooked pancakes warm in the oven. In a small bowl, whisk together flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt; set aside. It's important to use a whisk, or at least a fork to ensure that all ingredients are mixed well. 

2. In a medium bowl, whisk together milk, butter, and egg. Add dry ingredients to milk mixture; whisk until just moistened (do not overmix; a few small lumps are fine.)

3. Heat a large skillet (nonstick or cast-iron) or griddle over medium heat. Fold a sheet of paper towel in half, and moisten with oil; carefully rub skillet with oiled paper towel (you may have to repeat this after each batch if the skillet looks a little dry.) 

4. For each pancake, spoon 2 to 3 tablespoons of batter onto skillet, using the back of the spoon to spread batter into a round (you should be able to fit 2 to 3 in a large skillet.)

5. Cook until surface of pancakes have some bubbles and a few have burst. 1 to 2 minutes. Flip carefully with a thin spatula, and cook until browned on the underside, 1 to 2 minutes more. Transfer to a baking sheet or platter, cover loosely with aluminum foil, and keep warm in oven. Continue with more oil and more batter. Serve warm, with desired toppings (syrup, confectioners sugar, honey, jam, preserves, whipped cream or chocolate syrup.)

See how easy that is? In five simple steps, you can have homemade pancakes! Below are a few extra tips that will help enhance your fabulous pancake-from-scratch experience:

* remember, to keep pancakes tender, take care NOT to overmix batter; a few small lumps are fine.

* the skillet is at the right temperature when drops of water jump a little on the surface.

* use as little oil as possible in the skillet; a quick wipe with an oiled paper towel is enough.

* for thinner or thicker pancakes, add more or less liquid; respectively.

* if you want to add extras, such as blueberries, sliced bananas, strawberries, chocolate chips or nuts, sprinkle on pancakes before flipping. 

* To freeze left-over pancakes, stack cooled pancakes between squares of waxed paper; place in a resealable plastic bag or airtight container. Freeze up to 3 months. Reheat on a baking sheet in a preheated 350 degree oven or toaster oven. Don't reheat pancakes in the microwave - they will get rubbery. 

This basic pancake recipe was found in the September 2006 issue of Everyday Food (one of my all-time favorite food publications) and I have been using it ever since. I hope you find it to be as helpful as I did! 

Naps, Mishaps & Product Caps - The Lazy Curly Girl's Guide to Daily Styling

Aaaannndddd I'm back! Since the rapture has been postponed, I figured I would start up my blog again!  And what better way to come back from a 5 month hiatus than with a lazy-themed blog post! You know what they say - life happens. This is often my excuse for not spending more time on my curls. So here are a few tips for my Lazy Curly Girls (LCG) for daily hair styling.

I want to take this opportunity to throw in a disclaimer - while I have the upmost respect for my curly girlies that spend at least an hour or more on their hair daily and nightly, and have an endless repertoire of cute and intricate natural hair styles...this post is not for you. This post is for my can't ever find more than two bobby pins, don't even know how to corn row, don't have the patience to two-strand twist, had to ask someone what a "YT channel" was,  thinks a tuck and roll is something you do when your clothes are on fire, need a ten-minute or less hair regimen CURLY GIRLS!!!

Now if you fall into this category, you must be willing to have a certain "freedom" to your look. You must not be afraid to rock your hair in its natural state, as long as it looks supple and moist. Also, I have what is often referred to as "3c" type curls. So these tips are ones that work with my curl pattern. But don't let that discourage you from experimenting!

The Co-Wash 'N Go


Before getting out of the shower in the morning, I wet my hair just a little - enough to make it wet, but not too drippy.

- I divide my hair into four rough sections, and apply a good leave-in conditioner (right now, I'm partial to Mixed Chicks Leave-In Conditioner - it has a tiny bit of hold in it.) Then I shake it out a little, part it on the side and allow it to air-dry.


The Curl Re-Charger

This technique is good for the 2nd or 3rd day after a fresh wash 'n go. At this point, my curls have lots of volume, so it tends to be a little big - but that's how I like it. ;-)

- Before getting out of the shower, wet your hair with your hands, just enough to make it damp. Then add some moisturizing cream to it (I like Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Cream; it has a bit of hold) or a curl-reviving spray (I like Curls Lavish Curl Moisturizer; it has glycerin, which makes it good for redefining curls.) I often use this technique on the second or third day after a regular wash 'n go.  I sometimes put on a large elastic headband and push it just past my hairline so the curls kind of frame my face.






The Flirty Pull-to-the-Side


This is one I use when I really needed to have washed my hair about three days prior to doing this style. A very cute hair accessory is needed here - as well as some large, funky earrings. This pic didn't come out so great, but you get the gist:

I wet my hair with my hands right at the sink, and used regular hair gel to smooth and brush it all to one side (Pro Con Protein Gel or Olive Oil gel is what I use - but any gel with conditioners and hold in it will do.) It also helps to wet the brush a little. I secured the tiny puff with a Goody's black elastic, and pulled out the curls a little to surround the elastic. Then I pinned the flower on the side. Quick and cute!

Ok LCG's (Lazy Curly Girls), chime in - let me know what you think, and if you have any suggestions to add!

Soul Survivor - New Year Check-In

I'm not one for making New Year's Resolutions. They give me pause when I realize that I'm inevitably going to fall off the wagon. But I do like to check in and see how my life has been affected over the course of the year - what's changed, what hasn't, what needs to. Its kind of like dieting (which I am also NOT a fan of) - I'm better off making small dietary changes in choices that eventually will feel normal to me. I think life can benefit from the same practices. So I'm gonna check in and assess:

This time last year, I was not yet 30. I still had that slight sense of immortality you have when you're still in your twenties - that feeling where you feel like no matter what you're doing, you still have time to correct/eradicate/change the behavioral thought pattern behind it. Because you're still in your twenties....you can deal with it when you turn 30. Hmph.

Last year, my worst fear was not being able to graduate from Normal Life 101 after life dealt me a heaping serving of POO. This year the same catalyst of events have continued to change this thought process dramatically. Now, I almost feel too mortal - there is a heightened sense of anxiety I never thought I'd be a victim of. Before I reach 31, I will work on this. No one should have to live in fear.

This July, I will have been a resident of New York for 9 years. That makes 9 years out of college, so actually, 9 years as a resident of The Adult World. My social practices have changed immensely, although last year I rang in the New Year almost exactly the same way I did this year. Close to home, with lots of drinks. I'm not done going out and having fun, but even though its hard to meet someone new at the Home Bar & Lounge, the couch is comfy and the drinks are cheap. *shrugs*

My friendships/relationships have taken a few turns, both for better or worse. This past year I was forced to evaluate the term "best friend." The people in my life I call friend all are different things to me, and serve their purpose in my life in different ways. To refer to one of them as "best" is strange to me - it seems like "best" is normally code for "most loyal" or "been my friend the longest" or "person I hang out with most." That being said, some of my oldest friends (old as in length of time, not age) are no longer in my life as of last year. And some of my newer friends are closer to me. You roll with like-minded people, and minded-ness has evolved. Especially over the past year. I'm rolling with it. A reason, season or lifetime? I'll enjoy them all. And dismiss accordingly.

As for dating...the jury is still out. I'm a creature of habit and vacate regularly to The Comfort Zone Resort. Dating is scary. Starting over is scary. This time last year, I was NOT ready to move forward. This year...I'm a little more ready. And that's enough for me right now. Time to redirect my focus...or at least attempt to. No Dating Diets, just no sudden moves.

Finally, I'm trying to be more positive this year. Positive thoughts are all the rage on Facebook and Twitter, so I'll give it a shot. I hope this year brings for all of you everything you wished for and more, and that whatever check-in you engage in, be it resolutions or just new thoughts, you are able to assess your life and make it work for you. You survived a whole 'nother year - if for nothing else, pat yourself on the back for that!

Tales of a Foodie - Most Requested Recipes, Vol. 1

Whenever I have a gathering to go to and want to bring something, but don't have a lot of time to bake, I make my famous Spinach Dip. Everyone loves it, and think its a lot fancier than it actually is. The recipe is SUPER easy, and folks will think you slaved in the kitchen for hours!

Slammin' Spinach Dip


1 box of frozen chopped spinach, thawed
1 8 oz. package of shredded parmesan cheese
1 cup of mayonnaise


Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Mix all ingredients together in a bowl. Transfer to an oven-safe dish and bake for 20-25 minutes, or until the cheese around the edges slightly brown. Serve immediately with tortilla or pita chips.


This recipe doubles easily if you're serving a larger crowd. Enjoy! 

Naps, Mishaps and Product Caps - The Mentals and Physicals of being a Naturalista

Ok, so my intention was to write all of my natural hair goals for 2011. But I have decided to switch gears - in honor of "Natural Hair Day", I'm gonna post 11 simple do's and don'ts for true natural divas.  I've got seven years in the natural hair game, and I have seen it ebb and flow through things both positive and negative. So here goes:

1. DO be honest about your inspiration. I didn't decide to transition because I wanted to liberate myself from the evil clutches of chemicals. I transitioned because I was a starving actress who could not afford touch-ups at NY's high-priced salons. Whether my curl pattern was wavy or zig-zaggy, I was going for it. *shrugs* If you want to transition because its trendy now, go for it. Its your hair, not your religion.

2. DON'T look down on sistas who have relaxers. Just because someone has a perm does not mean they hate themselves! When I had a relaxer, I loved my hair. Now that my hair is all-natural...I love my hair. I always say, good hair is hair that is well groomed and well taken care of. There is room in that category for all of us!

3. DON'T think that because you're natural that you can put anything "natural" on your hair! I'll say this again - I am not putting monkey sweat, raw ostrich eggs, sulfured molasses, or anything else ridiculous in my hair just because it's "all-natural". It's ok to peruse the kitchen for some natural hair essentials, but please understand and know your hair. There are products out there that are designed to make your process easier - take advantage of them!

4. DO understand that everyones hair is different. So your girlfriend gives a product a raving review, but on your head, it ends in a sticky mess. Your hair is unique to you - and I mean more than just a curl type label. All 4a's and  3c's aren't curled alike. 


5. DO have patience and be willing to experiment. You can't find out everything there is to know about your hair from blogs and YouTube tutorials. At some point, you're going to have to just try some stuff out and learn your hair. Products don't change just because you finally found a review where it worked for someone. If it didn't work the first time you tried it, it still won't. And remember, it takes your hair at least two weeks to get accustomed to a new regimen. So don't get discouraged if you don't see results right away.

6. DON'T let society and the media tell you what your hair should look like! Ladies, at the peaks of our natural hair journeys, we will not all look like Alicia Keys and Mel B. Invest in what style will look good on you, and don't stop searching until you find something you love with your hair.

7. DON'T let people discourage you from transitioning! The truth is, people are afraid of what they don't understand. Why on earth would someone want to NOT comb their hair everyday? Why wouldn't you want sleek, straight hair that you can swing? Isn't that what every lady wants? Not anymore. And please try and refrain from getting wrapped up in Jigaboo/Wannabe fights. We're so past that - don't let a relaxed chick intimidate you. If you're feeling the pressure, just wait until you're ready. We'll be here for you when you are. ;-)

8. DON'T buy into the notion that natural hair is a "movement". Choosing to go natural is just that - a choice. Women have had the option of wearing their hair in natural styles since the beginning of time. The fact that it is trendy now doesn't make it a movement. Just makes folks more aware. Kind of like how Oprah's Book Club had to remind some folks that black women do read. Making it a movement means that it will eventually be done, having made its mark on history. I want my children and grandchildren to always have the option of wearing their hair how they want without feeling alienated by society.

9. DO understand styling your hair isn't just about the products - it's also about the process. I have learned that not taking care in the process of caring for your natural hair can be detrimental, no matter how good the product is. Take the time to take the necessary steps - let the conditioner saturate the hair shaft. Comb through in sections. Don't dry with a towel. Don't cut corners in your process and then blame the product.  My entire hair regimen at the moment cost me all of $25 and I'm super happy with the results now that I know exactly how to use them. 


10. DO understand that as a true natural diva, you can make your own rules. Wanna color your natural hair? Do it. Who cares if some people consider hair dye a chemical? Wanna straighten your natural hair every week? Do it. I didn't sign on to be a natural hair ambassador - I did it cuz it works for ME. Some naturalistas love concocting and mixing their own hair products right from their kitchen, while others spend hundreds of dollars on products that are just right for their hair. Neither is wrong. I'm not natural, my hair is. So don't give me the side-eye when you see me eating McDonald's instead of organic hemp seed tofu sandwiches. My hair does not, will not, and hasn't ever defined me. 


11. DO surround yourself with a support system if you need it. I went at my transition journey pretty much alone - just me and my hairdresser. But it wasn't that bad. I've never been one to follow the crowd, but unfortunately, in the short years that I have had natural hair, times have changed. Take advantage of whatever you need that's out there - natural hair forums, blogs, YouTube videos, transition buddies, hair mentors, whatever. We live in a world where your hair may not seem like a big deal...until you get passed over for a job because of it, or something equally as disrespectful. Be supportive and you'll get it back. That's something that works whether it's about your hair or not, ladies.

That's all I got. Here's to new styles, new mind sets, and a new attitude for you and your hair!

Soul Survivor - Change Gon' Come

So it's been a loooooonnnnggggg time since I have posted. I don't generally make New Year's Resolutions, but if I had one to make, it would be to keep up with my trusty blog - for you guys AND for me! I don't know about you, but it has been a rough year for me. I've ran from some things, and right smack into other things. I feel bruised and damaged mentally, physically and spiritually to put it mildly.  Actually, 2010 can suck it (see photo). But the great thing about 2010 is that it doesn't last forever. There's a brand new year approaching, and dammit, I'm determined to Sam Cooke it this year - a change IS gonna come! So here are 5 questions I found to gain some perspective going into the new year:

1. What gave me joy this year?


2. What did I take offense to? And did I really need to take offense?

3. Is there someone I should forgive?


4. What are the highlights of my character? My strong points?


5. How will I try to sustain happiness?


Some may find these questions difficult to answer, but try. You will be surprised by the answers. I've answered them already, and I feel like I know a little more about who I am, and who I want to be.

Here's what you can look forward to from Eat, Seek and Be Merry for 2011!

Soul Survivor 
Happiness: Choice or Circumstance? 
Coping with Loss, and the Brands of Grief
Dust Yourself Off and Try Again: Dating After The End of a Relationship Era


Tales of a Foodie


Reader's Choice - Most Requested Recipes!
Before and After - Some of my favorite Appetizer and Dessert Recipes
Themes: Menu Options for Every Occasion


Kiss My Glass


Thinking Outside The Glass - New Drink Recipes with Unconventional Ingredients
More Mocktails for the Non-Drinker
Boozing Up Your Favorite Childhood Drinks


Naps, Mishaps and Product Caps


The New Adventures of Old Torie's Hair - New Style Ideas for 2011
The Perfect (Hair) Cocktail
The Process - It takes more than just the perfect product


Black Girl's Think Tank


Top 5 Favorite Magazines and Why
Top 5 Favorite Books of All Time
Steve Harvey - Friend or Foe to the Black Woman?


I am excited for what's to come, and I hope you'll continue to join me for the ride. Happy New Year!

Naps, Mishaps and Product Caps - DO Get It Twisted!

Oh yes, we DO get it twisted!!!  I'll admit that ordinarily I am not quick to jump to protective styling. A few years back, I decided to just try it. Below are some pics of two-strand twists and then the twist-out from when a friend of mine twisted my hair for me.

Last week's twist out was the first time I twisted it myself and it came out great! I used Garnier Fructis Sleek and Shine Leave-In Conditioner, Curl Euphoria by Curls and a little bit of IC Olive Oil Gel. I just did basic two-strand twists while my hair was still damp.

Then I let my hair dry completely, then took out the twists and kind of fluffed it.

I found that my hair was consistently defined all the way around in a twisty pattern - no weird frizzy spots like I sometimes get when I wash and go. It was soft and shiny too! The only thing I didn't like was that it didn't last as long. By Day 3 it was kind of matted and wonky-looking. But the days it was fresh, it was fly!

Next up? Bantu knots! Not to wear them, but to take them out once my hair is dry. It'll be my first time trying it, so a good friend of mine agreed to do them for me. Stay tuned!

What's your favorite protective style? Do you use them just for setting purposes or do you where them out?