Black Girl's Think Tank - Here's a Tip

Every now and then, my family would gather together and go out to eat. There would be about 7 to 10 of us.  My uncle would insist on paying the bill, for which we are all grateful. After he paid the bill, he actually took the time out to write "tips" on the back on the receipt (i.e. "never eat yellow snow.") and my family would have a good laugh.

It was mortifying.

I do hold bias. I was a server and bartender for almost 10 years. When I was younger, the tips were a fun bonus. When I got older and was out on my own, a lot of times what I made in one night could determine whether or not my electricity bill would be paid. Or worse, my rent.

Over the years, I have had many discussions about why people do and don't choose to tip. Some feel is the company's job to pay their employees for all work done at the job. Others gauge the amount tipped on how pleased they were with the service (in this instance, I find that nine times out of ten, these people are never really happy with the service.) And some people just plain ole don't know any better - by becoming a server, I essentially taught my parents how to tip.

In my opinion, a server would have to pretty much call me a name and spit in my food for me NOT to tip, but again, I am biased. And de-bunking stereotypes is a priority to me, so I'll even do it to prove a point. I participated in a rather heated discussion on Facebook regarding this matter, and I realized that ignorance was a driving force behind the naysayers of tipping. So I found this nifty chart of who, where and how to tip.

RESTAURANTS/BARS Waiter/waitress: 15% of bill (excl. tax) for adequate service; 20% for very good service; no less than 10% for poor service Headwaiter/captain: often gets a cut of table server's tip; so tip your server extra to reward captain, or tip captain separately Sommelier, or wine steward: 15% of cost of the bottle Bartender: 15% to 20% of the tab, with a minimum of 50 cents per soft drink, $1 per alcoholic drink Coatroom attendant: $1 per coat Parking valet or garage attendant: $2 to bring your car to you Washroom attendant: 50 cents to $1

	DAILY LIFE Taxi driver: Varies depending on locality. Assume 15% will be enough; an extra $1 to $2 for help with bags. Food delivery person:* 10% of the bill (excl. tax), at least $1 for bills up to $10. Should tip 15%-20% for a difficult delivery. Grocery loader: Check with store policy if tips are accepted. If so, $1 for bringing bags to car; $1.50 to $3 if you have more than 3 bags. Barber: 15% to 20%, minimum $1, for a haircut. For other services (shampoo, shave or manicure) tip $1 to $2 to service provider. Hairdresser: 15% to 20%. (It is now acceptable to tip owner, unless he or she says otherwise.) Shampoo person: $2 Manicurist: 15% Spa service (e.g., massage): 15% to 20%. If service is provided by owner, no tip. Staff at coffee/food retailers with tip jars: No tip required. It's completely optional. Handyman: No tip Gas attendant: No tip * Mike Lynn, associate professor of consumer behavior at the Cornell Hotel School suggests tipping pizza delivery folk a minimum of $2 per pizza. His reasoning: Food delivery can be dangerous if delivering to crime-ridden neighborhoods or driving in bad weather, etc. The Web site www.tipthepizzaguy.com suggests the following: 15% for normal service, with a $2 minimum; 20% for excellent service; 10% or less for poor service; at least 10% for orders of $50 or more. Don't assume a delivery charge, if there is one, goes to the pizza deliverer. Ask the person who takes your order.

	TRAVEL Skycap at airport: $1 per bag if you check-in curbside; $2 per bag if skycap takes bags to check-in counter. Hotel doorman: $1 per bag for help with luggage; $1 per person for hailing a cab Hotel bellhop: $1 per bag for bringing luggage to your room (but a $2 minimum if you have just one bag) Hotel housekeeper: $2 to $5* per night Hotel concierge: $5 for getting you tickets or reservations ($10-plus if they're hard to get). No tip required when you ask for directions. Cruise: Varies. Ask cruise line about customary gratuities.

Source: Emily Post Institute
* Additional source: Tipping.org

Here are a few other interesting articles I found regarding the practice of tipping...did you know that the results of a recent poll show that most people tip out of social obligation, and not because of good service? Check these out:

http://money.cnn.com/pf/features/lists/tipping/

the real reason people tip - http://money.cnn.com/2003/05/15/commentary/everyday/sahadi/index.htm

After all this research, my opinion still stands. I do still judge people who refuse to tip. And I always will. When it comes to basic societal practices here in the US, poop or get off the pot. :-)

Black Girl's Think Tank - Stable Dating

A few years back, I was complaining to my friend Donna about my sad dating life and how much I HATED dating. She then explained her method of dating to me. Although I am just now getting the hang of it, it opened my eyes like the first time you realize all the cool things your phone can do a year after you've had it.

She likened dating to a horse stable: all the stalls may or may not be filled, just as long as there is more than one horse in it (cuz there's no point in having a stable for just one horse, right?) It seemed simple, very chic and cosmopolitan...empowering even. I remember turning this concept over in my head, wondering if I could pull something like this off. I'm the romantic, emotional type...you know, love at first sight and all that other stuff. I was afraid that dating like this would have my emotions all over the place. Or best case scenario, I'd be kissing a lot of frogs with no prince. As much I have loathed dating in the past, I decided to try it anyway.

It totally worked! No wonder I had always hated dating - I was doing it all wrong! So I think I've figured out what the problem was. You have to be able to see dating for what it's supposed to be. Metaphor Time: We sometimes look at dating as Husband Auditioning instead Trying on Clothes. It's silly to think you have to buy everything you try on, whether it fits or not. So why wouldn't that be the case for a partner? Every time I dated someone, I immediately tried to determine whether or not they were good husband material, or if they were The One. I put all my eggs in one basket. So when the basket finally fell and all my eggs broke, I was devastated. (I know I'm going IN with the metaphors, but stay with me!)

Now back to the stable. Having multiple horses in my stable ensured that I wouldn't be dating out of necessity, desperation, or worst of all, loneliness. If one wasn't available, there were others to hang out with or talk to, get to know. I never gave too much time or energy to just one. It kept my emotions balanced and in check. Plus, if you go so far as to think of them racing (for your love, of course) one horse will always be in the lead, and eventually win the race...and your heart (ok, end of metaphors.)

Its such a smart and fun way to date, that I am convinced this is the way it's supposed to be done. I used to hate dating because I just knew that I would either end up happily boo'd up or being rejected and hurt. Mostly the latter. There was never a middle. Now its all evenly balanced...I hardly notice when one falls off, cuz I didn't unhealthily attach myself to them, and I'm still dating the others too. It's great.

So in honor of Valentine's Day, I want to fully endorse Stable Dating (pun intended.) Thanks Donna for teaching me how to date!

Black Girl's Think Tank - My Life According to Pinterest

I am addicted to Pinterest.

I have access to Pinterest on my tablet, computer, and mobile device. I truly believe there is no problem in this world that Pinterest can't solve.

Ok, that may be a slight exaggeration, but Pinterest is and can be so many things! And whats strange is that when someone asks me exactly what it is...I can't explain it. An online cork board? A scrapbook of sorts? Bookmarks for websites categorized more specifically with pictures?

All I know is that Pinterest pops into my mind several times a day, no matter what the subject. I can plan weekly menus, romantic getaways, house design, lesson plans, new hairstyles, a whole new wardrobe and style reinvention, reference a funny or inspirational quote, find things to knit, paint, create, sew, carve; stock a wet bar, and pretty much make ANYTHING you could buy from a store for half the cost.

Here's a list of what I've used Pinterest for so far:

- countless recipes...I actually plan weekly menus with my Recipes board.
- made my own green and natural home cleaning solutions
- made my own hair conditioner with items from my kitchen
-  knitted two scarves, a hat and a head warmer from patterns found on my Knitting board.
-  made green and natural pest repellant (totally put the kabash on a fruit fly infestation)
- made my own air freshener!
- got detailed lesson plan ideas
- gotten a few hairstyles to try (one was cute, the other a bust)
- made my own dried fruit snacks.
- gave myself an at-home Shellac manicure
- used a great DIY tip to dry said manicure in 3 minutes!
- made my own microwave popcorn
- discovered a number of great websites with great tips on everything from saving money to putting outfits together!

It is extremely easy to navigate and use, and you can download a "Pin It" button right into your browser menu. So if you're cruising websites and come across something you want to pin, you just go to the menu your Bookmarks are in and click Pin It. Plus you will spend hours just repinning all the great things that other people have pinned - they've done the searching for you! Not only is it a great resource, it has now become a great marketing tool as well, joining the ranks of Twitter and Facebook. If you haven't gotten hip to it yet, or think that it may be a bit overwhelming for you, do yourself a favor: get over it and get over to Pinterest! If you're already there, what are your favorite boards? What life-changing thing did you gain from it?